Huge giant parenting fail

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Summer vacation is that time of the year where small boys, whose Dads are teachers, stay home all summer and do fun things. Or at least I think that’s the general idea.

Summer holiday started down here in the South on monday. By Monday evening, the kids were a hot mess. I have no idea what Daddy did with them all day to create this.

Tuesday: same. Hot mess, spaghetti on floor, screaming, in bed at 6 pm.
Wednesday: same, managed to eat all dinner, still hot messes, Eleanor in bed at 5:45. Slept 13 hours.

Thursday: same. Stayed with PopPop, hot mess, threw dinner on floor, received discussion on starving African children that sounded like it was from 1981, which was approx when I was that same age.

Friday: smack talked Mummy, yelled, kicked, went to bed crying at 6:32. Cried until 6:33. Went to sleep at 6:34. What the hell is going on.

Poured glass of wine at 6:35. Mother-fucker.

Epic fail occurred around 5:46, post dinner at Tijuana Flats. And actually involved us pulling over (in a very safe area) and threatening to leave Vince there to walk home alone. I had my hazards on, like a good American. And I wasn’t even getting emergency donuts! (You should be so proud)

Where things went pear-shaped was when Mike told him he was going to walk home alone, and Vince just took off. Running hard towards the road. Full throttle. So fast. We leapt out of the car and shrieked “Vince come back!!!”

He paused, for thought, crossed his arms and stared at us. Most stressful minute ever. We lured him back to the car and made more seriously elaborate threats about strangers and walking alone then we had ever before. While we tried to calm our fast beating hearts.

We drove home, full of attitude.

Eleanor went to bed early.
Vincent yelled at me and threw things and went to bed early.
Mike went out with his friends.
I am currently not talking to anyone and watching Michael J Fox be a psychic.

Huge parenting fail. And the sad thing is, we freaking know this shit!! Do not ever threaten anything you don’t seriously mean to do. Such an amateur move. We were scrambling like eggs.

F!!!!!!!

3 minutes later, things were fine and Vince was proclaiming that he was totally capable of finding his way home alone. Oh perfect. So glad we created this new monster.

Please, please do not be as ridiculous as we. Please. PLEASE.

Most likely you won’t. I am sure you are way saner than we. But regardless….

Walk lightly, o’er these summer days,
For they shall tread hard on you.

Be sweet in disposition to all small,
For fear that they might change more rapid
Than the Summer sky.

And never shall thou threaten unrealistically,
For thou shall be swiftly addressed of wrong

Storms may cross
Skies may fall
Little men shall be
The most tumultuous of all

xoxo Jaime