Sometimes new things are hard, like tights. Too snug, ill fitting, awkward and slightly judgmental.
And also, they are godammn tights. And are a total jerk.
Cue enormous deep soul sigh and pause….. Let me pause for truth. Eleanor was born last year and with her I felt such a shift in my life. And I attempted so many changes. I lost a lot of weight. I ran a ton. I felt great.
Everything relapsed around Christmas. And I was just so disappointed. In myself, in my focus, pretty much in my soul. I have been struggling since then, just so much, mentally and physically.
I have been trying tremendously to shift my writing focus away from my personal life. Less ‘parenting-general’ and more anything but that. However, life is the greatest inspiration and provides too much ridiculousness. Plus at my heart, I am nothing but a giant drama queen. Married to an epic drama soul, currently teaching some drama to my wee ones.
And all this made me realize that I pretty much don’t need a specific focus. I don’t need to categorize myself, which is what I have been trying to do. In my attempt to lean away from my own heart, I have essentially been stifling my creativity. Which sucks man. SUCKS.
Probably you don’t care as much about my realization as I do, but whatevs bitches. See that? I can throw out some teenager slang and a cuss word like no ones business. Which makes me feel old and sound whiter than all the white people ever. But whatevs! I’m cool yo… (I’m not actually)
Mostly awkward. But adorable. And quirky. And sweet. And lovely. And pretty raunchy. And a dance party parent. With a really dirty mind. Who needs weekend wine, and loves eighties movies. And wants to write a book. And is tired of being so concerned with what others think… And no longer really gives a shit if you are reading this or not. (But you are, right? Because you love me?)
I love you too